Perhaps someone owned you a lot of money before they died? Or the worst case scenario they had a corpse that was burnt or disfigured to the point where they had to have a close casket. All of these things and more we would never wish on a single individual, but we cannot pretend as it is implausible. In fact, acting like it did not is one of the fastest ways to have a memory of a loved one become tainted. Rather you are trying to untaint a memory or avoid it then this blog is going to have some helpful information for you either way.
“Spiritual wellness is related to your values and beliefs that help you find meaning and purpose in your life. Spiritual wellness may come from activities such as volunteering, self-reflection, meditation, prayer, or spending time in nature.” –Marjie L. Roddick, MA, NCC, LMHC
Ways To Forgive Quickly
*Think About The Good
Take times to remember all of the good things about what they did in their life; all of their accomplishments or accolades that they fulfil in their life. If they were young, then think about all of the things that they wanted to do with their time on Earth.
*Ask How Other Feel
If you are struggling to conjure up any good memories then maybe talking to others will help. While the best time is after the funeral, anytime when you are ready is just as good too. Do not ask for the good memories but just try to see what comes into everyone head who is trying to make you feel better.
“If you are struggling with low self-esteem, it is encouraged that you seek some type of help and support to work through this issue, and to help you be the best version of yourself that you can be.” –Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D.
*Write/Say A Prayer
One of the best exercises for anger is to write a fake letter. Well, the same can be true of grief as well. Just write a letter to them as if they were alive. Sure they won’t read it, but it is that last goodbye that matters more often than not. The same goes when you decide to pray for someone oddly enough.
*Take Up A Habit
Habits are for the worst cases, but maybe you need to do something that takes your mind off of it. Anything will do but the more that you are absorbed into it then, the greater recommendation that you will get from me.
Ways To Remember Fondly
*Visit The Grave
No matter what memories you have of the Fallen, you know where they lie at the end of the day. They are in the grave now and are not coming back. Just take a moment and realise that your tainted memories are for not.
*Look At The Picture
Peek at the pictures if your memories aren’t reliable enough to bring back some good times. The pictures tell you how someone was like but since most are ruined with the words, “Say Cheese”, we have lost all genuine emotions from pictures. Candid photos are some of the best and try to take them as often as possible. Who cares if you end up with a few that shows them upset or sad? Those emotions all come to par with this wonderful experience we call life.
“Acknowledge and accept the feelings: The first step is to learn to bring the feeling out.” -Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD
*Keep A Keepsake
A little memento never hurt anyone as this can range from any gift that this person ever gave you. Most of the time the best mementoes are those that are passed from one generation to the next.
Share And Dream
Now the final step to forgive someone is to make sure that you share the good things about them to everyone. Sharing is not limited to just the family member but not limited to strangers as well. Think about it in a way that they can usually flow into a conversation just like you would have done if they were alive. Don’t let the fact that just because your loved one rests in the grave so must their spirt.