Death is a natural process. Nevertheless, you will never be prepared once you experience a death of someone. It will surely be devastating. You may even think that there’s no way in this world you can go back to your normal life again. But, just like how the saying goes, “there’s always a rainbow after a rain.”
There are healthy ways to mourn for your loved one who passed away. Applying these ways can help you to avoid drowning into depression. Because “Depression is a serious and tricky illness. Unfortunately, it can also go unrecognized for a long period of time” says Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC.
Do not suffer in silence
Being silent about the passing would only cause you more suffering than you can imagine. Being silent would not allow people, who care about you, to know that you need their support the most. If you stay silent, you will just box inside you all the negative feelings that the death has caused you. Therefore, you won’t have that outlet to release these negative feelings. Worse, they may even drag you to the pit of darkness and eventually depression. Note that “Many people mistakenly believe that if you can’t see it like you can a broken bone, it must be less significant and therefore can be overcome by simply using willpower. If not, they mistakenly believe that people who suffer from depression are weak.” Simon Rego, PsyD says.
Recognize that your feelings are real and normal
You need to understand that what you are going through is normal. Every other individual who experiences death in his/her life feels the emotions that you are also experiencing. There is nothing wrong in them. Certainly, there’s also nothing wrong with you. All your feelings are valid and legitimate. Hence, don’t put too much pressure on yourself that you have to be back to normal right away. Take time to recognize and be familiarize with these feelings and emotions. In time, they won’t affect you as much as they used to.
Find people who will understand
Losing someone you love does not mean that you are all alone in this world. You still have your family and friends that care about you. “By building a list of people that you trust, with whom you can talk to in times of need, you allow yourself a strong sense of not being alone.” David Klow, a licensed therapist explained. You can also search online for communities that offer support for someone who is in mourning. You might even be surprised that there are several bereavement support groups that cater any kind of loss—whether it be parents, significant other, friends, or even pets.
Have a ritual for the person’s passing
When you lose someone, you are entitled to mourn for the loss. But, staying in mourning for extended periods of time is not healthy for you. When you mourn for someone, you commemorate the very important life that has passed. However, it does not mean that you would forget the person once you stopped from mourning. You can still have a ritual that you can do every time you miss that person. This ritual can be the activity that you and the person that passed loved doing as a past time. You can do this ritual every week, every month or every year. This ritual should celebrate the life of that special person so make sure that you would not lock yourself in your room and cry all night. Make it something fun and enjoyable. Having this ritual can help you in the healing process.