Now it is easy to discuss how to address a loss when someone had a month to deal with it mentally but death, just as birth, can be sudden and unexpected. This blog is for people who are dealing with a recent loss or know that a loved one is only a few days away from their deathbed. No scenario is more preferential than the other as we would not wish either on our worst enemy or sweetest of friends. Now while every situation is different, we feel the need to say that this is very general advice as if you feel you require more information after reading this article then it is best to ask a family member/doctor.
Plan/Attend The Funeral
Planning the funeral is something that is easier said than done and there is one exception. If it is a close casket, then my heart goes out to you and respect whatever decision that you made. In any other cases just think about all the parents who will never get to see that loved one anymore. While some of the worst types of people may look at funerals as one giant pity party, it is so much more. These are the people that come here in your hour of need and shed tears alongside you.
The emotional support that you get when you attend the funerals is worth more than any gold. Sure it will not help at the moment, but at night when you are struggling to catch some shut eye then that is when it helps. The last thing that you want is nightmares about how you weren’t able to be at their side while they passed.
Take The Comfort
As we stated previously on taking comfort in people, the emotion support is a boon and should never get turned down. A fair amount of people will visit you to talk about how your loved one died, and this only will finalise for you. The last thing that you want to do here is ignoring the cards, hugs, and friendly faces because in three months they won’t be there. Lisa S. Larsen, PsyD used to say, “When people are given a supportive environment and a safe relationship, they can let down their guard and heal.”
Get Alone Time
A cold-hearted person will tell you that taking some alone time is selfish. You could even get worst from people telling you that such time is even unhealthy. How can anyone say that with a straight face? The people who do never must have had someone who was a significant influence in their life just suddenly snatch from them without so much as a notice. What if this person is all you find yourself thinking/dreaming/crying about? Now I would go on a limb to say that this is even more unhealthy. “When you miss someone, you need to process it,” says Gregory Kushnick, PsyD.
Now how long and what you decide to do in your alone time is entirely up to you. I enjoy my showers at my leisure, but wood work and writing are all good things to occupy your free time. Just make sure that you do not allow anyone to dictate how you spend your life because of at least your escape isn’t drugs or illegal.
Don’t Tear For Years
Try to get all those tears out because a few years down the line people may toss you a funny face if you burst into tears. Here is the cold water, your tears will not bring them back, and it is not what they wanted. The last thing that someone thinks about when they die is how many people will cry from them. In fact, no one ever thought this on their deathbeds. Compare this to the millions who asked their love one not to will show the scales here. Hopefully, if you are experiencing a death in your family that this contained some useful advice.