Frequently Asked Questions About Emotion Regulation Skills

Anger, sadness, anxiety, and fear are some of the emotions that anyone may find difficult to handle. But coping with the loss of a loved one can be among the most daunting things a person may have to go through. Although upset and death are natural life occurrences, no one comes prepared for when it happens. It can lead to long periods of sadness that can lead to depression and other mental health problems. 

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Different people deal with loss differently. In 1969, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross said five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Since each grieves differently, these stages do not necessarily happen in order. Moreover, some people may not go through all of them. 

Emotions are strong stimuli that can heavily impact our self-esteem and relationships. Emotional regulation is a mix of temperament and learned behavior. It understands what your emotions are and knowing that you can control and regulate them.

Honing emotion regulation skills improves the internal dialogue we have with ourselves, perceiving lapses in emotional regulation as part of the skill-building process rather than failure. Even for people who don’t have diagnosed psychological conditions, knowing how to regulate emotions is a skill that can improve our quality of life. 

Here are some frequently asked questions about emotion regulation and how practicing it can be helpful for you: 

What is emotional regulation skills?

Emotional regulation skills demonstrate a person’s ability to understand, manage, and respond to an emotional experience. It is exercised through the ability to control emotions in a way that wouldn’t elicit stress or tension, both internally and externally. These skills influence one’s emotional coping strategies in various social situations that naturally arise in daily life.

Emotional regulation helps process emotion-provoking stimuli in a mindful and socially-appropriate manner to gain clarity and good judgment when making decisions and taking action.

What are emotion regulation strategies?

Emotion regulation strategies are tools and techniques that help individuals manage and process emotions to minimize stress. These strategies come in handy when choosing how to respond and act on a particular emotional experience or social situation. These strategies can help an individual cope with difficult or unpleasant situations in day-to-day life.

Emotion regulation strategies can aid in better decision-making, positive behavior and emotions, mindfulness, and overall well-being.

What are DBT emotion regulation skills?

Emotion regulation skills are one of the four skills that make up Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). The other three DBT skills are interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and mindfulness skills.

The emotion regulation skills in DBT focuses on recognizing and accepting emotions, especially the painful or unpleasant ones. It involves acknowledging all emotions, positive or negative, to develop healthy coping mechanisms and better emotional responses to everyday life situations.

Why is emotion regulation important?

Our emotions can largely influence our thoughts, behaviors, and decisions, so emotion regulation has a crucial role in everyday life. It helps minimize stress and enhances mental well-being and overall health.

Emotions are like a compass that guides us to make decisions and actions to keep stress, tension, and regret at bay. Emotion regulation can lead to positive relationships with self and others, independence, resilience, productivity, and happiness.

What causes poor emotional regulation?

Various factors cause poor emotional regulation. Individuals diagnosed with mental health conditions like a borderline personality disorder, clinical depression,  post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety can have poor emotional regulation. Excessive fear, anxiety, anger, and sadness can cause this, as well.

Addiction is also associated with weak emotional regulation because it affects behavior and self-control. Lastly, temperament and attachment styles are two underlying characteristics that can provoke it as well.

What does emotional regulation look like?

Emotional regulation is knowing how to control emotions in any given social situation, whether positive or negative. It is portrayed through a calm and mindful disposition that can navigate effectively through heightened emotions, usually brought by daily challenges and interactions. Not everyone is raised to be good at it. However, emotional regulation is a skill that can be learned and honed through practice.

What are good coping skills?

Good coping skills are ones that help bring out the best in you. They are techniques and habits built over time that positively impact one’s mental health and overall well-being. There are various coping skills that one can learn and adapt to overcome daily stressors and problems. Some of these include meditating, engaging in physical activities, honing hobbies, eating healthy, reading, taking mental breaks, and maintaining friendships.

What are coping skills for stress?

Coping skills for stress help keep the mind and body calm amidst any situation that may arise. Journaling, meditation, and breathwork are practical ways to check-in with your emotions and gain more mindfulness. Honing hobbies, engaging in spirituality, and doing physical activities can also help alleviate stress.

There are many quick-fix ways to cope with stress, but building a well-balanced, stress-friendly lifestyle for you is a long-term solution that can be nurtured through daily habits and routines. It includes learning and incorporating time-management, proper communication, good nutrition, and self-care.

What are 5 emotional signs of stress?

Anxiety, irritability or restlessness, lack of focus and motivation, impulsive behavior, and burnout are five emotional signs of stress. Sometimes, these things can be happening to you unknowingly. It is best to be aware of such emotional signs of stress so you can act on them to avoid spiraling down.

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How can I reduce stress hormones?

A practical way to reduce stress hormones is by taking care of your mind and body by getting the right amount of sleep, exercising, having a balanced diet, hydrating, finding ways to relax and enjoy, and building good relationships. Doing meditation and practicing mindfulness is also beneficial in reducing stress hormones.

What foods help with stress?

Some foods keep cortisol (stress hormone) levels low, such as whole-grain bread, oatmeal, oranges, green or black tea, nuts (pistachios and almonds), avocados, spinach, fatty fish, and dark chocolate. On the other hand, avoid food with added sugar, alcohol, excess caffeine, and processed food.

What is the best medicine for stress?

Self-compassion is the best natural remedy for stress. When you have self-compassion, you can give your mind and body the love and care it deserves. Self-compassion includes getting enough sleep and the right nutrition and finding quality time for hobbies and other activities that allow you to connect with yourself and others.

How can I calm myself quickly?

One quick way to release some tension is to pause for a moment, close your eyes, and take 5-10 slow, deep breaths.  Through this, you get to take a step back and understand how you’re responding to your surroundings. It is a brief moment that can also allow you to recalibrate your response or mindset to overcome the stressors and enter a calm and collected state.

How can I relax my stressed mind?

Therapeutic activities can help relax a stressed mind. Allot some time for therapeutic activities such as gardening, decluttering, reading, taking a walk, baking, and the like. Find an activity that can be an outlet for you to connect with yourself and feel your best. Getting off gadgets and social media may also help with relaxing and unclogging the mind.

How do I stop my brain from overthinking?

Gaining self-awareness is crucial in avoiding overthinking. Take a moment to scan through your thoughts and recognize how these thoughts are affecting your emotions. Challenge your thoughts, and remember that you can take control of these thoughts by shifting your mindset. Practicing meditation and mindfulness can also help you stay present through every breath instead of allowing your mind to worry about things in the past and future.

Lastly, keep looking for solutions instead of dwelling on your worries and problems. With the right mindset, a growth mindset, you are capable of learning and improving on yourself.

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We all feel emotions, which are an integral part of our lives that influence and guide our actions. Struggling with anger, fear, and sadness is something that everyone experiences. During childhood, our parents will teach us the basics of emotional regulation. Improving this skill takes coaching and feedback from adults and guardians. Unfortunately, not everyone has (or had) the ideal support system growing up. 

The loss of a loved one can be a challenging obstacle to overcome. It can make the development of emotion regulation skills an even tougher battle. Abuse or trauma may also stunt the growth of someone’s ability to self-soothe and regulate emotions.

Unlike small children, adults are expected to regulate their emotions and act according to what is socially acceptable. People attach emotion regulation to personality rather than treat emotion regulation as a skill that is built upon. 

It is important to remember that managing feelings are a skill that constantly develops throughout our lives. Experiencing difficulties and struggles are part of the process of skill-building. We can practice mindfulness and the ability to reassess situations and the emotions that correspond to them.

Having good emotional regulation skills is a building block to a more resilient and happier self. It can foster smooth relationships with others and bring balance overall. 

How Grief Affects Your Mental Health

The loss of a loved one is a universally devastating experience. You may go through a wide range of emotions—sometimes conflicting, often debilitating—as you try to process grief and rebuild after a profound loss. 

Grief has two types based on how long you mourn: acute and persistent. The first is the more common type of grief that takes place in the first six to 12 months after a loss. Over time, it dissipates. The second type is grief that extends for more than a year and may require clinical intervention. 

In both types of grief, experiencing stress is common since your body might release higher levels of cortisol or stress hormones to respond to the loss, negatively affecting your sleeping and eating patterns.

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The Many Faces Of Grief

When you’re in mourning, it’s natural to flash back to your dearly departed memories. You may remember them in the spaces you once shared or in the sights you see. It can trigger a wave of intense emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, bitterness, or regret. They can come all at once or build up over time.  

Although grief can bring about intense feelings, it can also suck the pleasure out of the activities that used to bring you joy, leaving you feeling numb. You may notice this when you can’t focus or when you have no energy to go through the day nor time for the hobbies you once enjoyed.

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Grief And Psychological Disorders

Grief can also bring psychological disorders like anxiety to the surface. Given the highly uncertain situation that a loss puts us in, it’s common to have questions like: how do you move forward? What does “forward” even look like? 

According to an expert, anxiety is a normal response to loss and should be part of the stages of grief from denial to acceptance. After a loss, your life is never the same. Each day may feel lacking due to the absence of your loved one and of a sad future without them.

Beyond the intense emotions of sadness and abandonment, a loss forces you to think about your mortality. Although death is a fundamental truth of life, we have the unhealthy tendency to sweep it under the rug or to postpone it to an unnamed day in the far future when we’ve got our affairs in order. 

But life hardly moves the way we want it to, and when a loss becomes personal, you need to grapple with the limits of your own life and the path you’ve chosen so far. This daunting realization may trigger anxiety attacks.

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Grief can also make a person more vulnerable to developing depression. It’s common to mistake one for the other since they share several characteristics, but they are distinct experiences. It’s essential to make this distinction since early diagnosis and treatment for depression may spell the difference between life and death.

Unlike depression, grief tends to ebb over time, although it can arrive unexpectedly with occasional prompts. Over time, you can move on from grief, feel positive emotions, and remember the good experiences you shared with your loved one. On the other hand, depression tends to be more persistent, requiring additional help, medication, and support systems. 

Physical Manifestations Of Grief 

The adverse impacts of grief are not limited to the mind. Since your mental health and physical well-being are closely linked, your grief can physically manifest in various forms. 

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You might feel aches and pains all over your body since stress hormones can cause your muscles to tense up. Your immune system can also make tissues swell as part of its anti-threat response, which increases the risk of developing heart disease, arthritis, diabetes, and asthma. 

There’s also some evidence that suggests that persistent grief can impair your body’s ability to defend itself against illness and infection, showing the close link between our mental state and our body systems. 

Final Thoughts

Grief is a complex and personal experience, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to processing the emotions that come with it. 

If you have persistent grief, it’s best to seek help from a therapist or a counselor who can provide focused treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy. 

If your grief is acute, some strategies can reduce stress, like staying active, maintaining a healthy diet, and going to bed at a scheduled time. Don’t forget to make an effort to reach out to your family and friends and maintain meaningful connections. 

It may be challenging to find the energy for these activities when your grief is at its most pronounced, but know that you will overcome grief and healing will take its course. Someday, you’ll be able to move forward and commemorate your loved one in one of the best ways possible: making the best out of your own life.  

Moving Forward With Grief As A Family

Experiencing grief is inevitable, and we’ll face it sooner or later. For instance, losing a loved one is a tough challenge for a family, and it can take a long time for them to recover from the heartache. Nonetheless, families can overcome this sad reality if they grieve together and move forward with grief.

We have heard multiple times that we have to “move on from grief.” However, according to Nora McInerny, an author, we do not move on from grief. We move forward with it. She also reminds people that “we need to remember that someone who is grieving will laugh again and smile again. […] Absolutely, they’re going to move forward, although this doesn’t mean that they’ve moved on.”

Effects Of Grief 

Grief can affect us in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to family relations. We are in a state of shock of disbelief whenever we recall the time our loved one has departed. Some of us may cry when we remember them, some don’t cry at all, or they feel numb.

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Grief can also affect us physically—it can be truly exhausting. It weakens our immune system, making us prone to colds or other illnesses. Family members may also isolate themselves from others as a way to cope and move on from the loss.

These situations are typical whenever we feel grief. However, when things get complicated or when the loss of our loved one came from a traumatic experience, it may interfere with our daily lives and can lead to depression. That being said, each family member must stick together during this grueling time.

Family Members Have Different Ways Of Coping

There is no absolute way on how to grieve. We must respect each family member’s way of grieving or coping mechanism. Give yourself space as well to grieve on your own. According to Sarah Epstein, MFT, “If an individual’s form of grief brings discomfort for you, take notice of it and perhaps leave the room. Do not keep on making a person feel bad about the way they grieve, as long as it does not hurt others.”

In David Kessler and Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s book On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss, they explained the five phases of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

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Karen Dela Cruz, an assistant professor from Brigham Young University, says that these five stages are simply rough guidelines, and “they do not occur in order, and they’re rather more fluid than was previously thought. You can go to and fro  and in between them, you can be in two stages at once, and not everybody goes through every stage.”

Know That You Are Not Alone

You may feel that other members have moved on from grieving, while you haven’t. Some family members grieve longer, and some, although they may seem stoic, get sudden flashbacks from the past and feel heartbroken all over again. The beauty of family life is that we are never alone in our struggles. We always watch out for and help one another. Let your family member feel that they are not alone through these simple ways:

  • Send Something

Make one of your family members feel appreciated while they going through a hard time by sending something. It may be in the form of giving them flowers, writing a simple handwritten message saying that we will get through this, or baking them their favorite cookies or brownies.

  • Offer A Helping Hand

Some of our family members need practical support in doing tasks because your departed loved one used to do them when they were still alive. Moreover, grief makes them less motivated to do simple daily tasks. Lend a hand to your family member by doing these chores and see what you can do based on your ability and skills.

Some of these tasks may include mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, or teaching other family members on household responsibilities. You may not be the perfect person for that job, but what matters most is that you can decrease the burden of your bereaved family members from work left by the deceased.

  • Be There For Them
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“Let me know if you need anything” may be one of the most cliché messages a bereaved family member or friend may receive. This message may not give them the assurance and support that they need during this time.

Be a supportive family member by showing that you are the person that they can count on. Be physically there in times when your bereaved family member needs someone, check on them regularly through text or call, offer a hug, share stories and pictures with the person you both miss, and many more.

Seek Family Therapy If Necessary

Psychologists can help each family member better handle anxiety, fear, or depression from the loss of a loved one. Family therapy is a type of psychological counseling that creates more meaningful and healthy conversations among family members. Through family therapy, you and your family members can better understand one another and learn coping mechanisms that will bring you closer together.

Grief Takes Time

As we try to become better versions of ourselves, we must acknowledge that what we are feeling is normal. In times like this, being there for your family members is more vital than ever. We are not alone, and our family will always be there for us, especially during hard times. Things will be better as you slowly move forward with your family.

 

 

Expressing Care To The World Amid A Pandemic

The world seems to be at war since the beginning of 2020, but the enemies are not the terrorist groups that we have all heard about before. No, the main antagonist is the coronavirus, which has taken over 380,000 lives across the globe. More than six million people continue to try to fight the disease at the time of this writing, and their numbers continue to rise, thus causing everyone to dub the situation as a pandemic. 

Unfortunately, no scientist has been quick enough to come up with an antidote for this global problem. Many are suffering, even if they do not have the virus. The only things that we can do to express how much we care for the world are the following:

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Donate To Different Causes

The first thing you should put on your list of agendas is giving donations. Ever since the pandemic began, various organizations stepped up and asked people for help on behalf of those who lost their jobs or loved ones. You can pick at least one cause that you connect with the most and offer your assistance to the less-fortunate folks through financial means.

Send Food To Frontline Workers

Nurses, doctors, police officers, and other frontline workers have been working day and night due to the coronavirus outbreak. Some of them make sure that no one roams the streets and puts themselves at risk of catching the virus. Others stay at the hospitals to look after the COVID-19 patients.

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All of them are putting their lives on the line by serving the country and its people. Given that we cannot take over their jobs and let them rest for a bit, the best we can do is to send them nutritious foods. Doing so ensures that there is always a hot meal waiting for them, and they don’t need to worry about it while working.

Wear Protective Items

Caring for the world can only happen when you care for your well-being and other people’s. It is forbidden to comfort strangers with a hug to express that, so you should do it instead by wearing protective items when you go out.

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I am talking about a mask, face shield, disposable gloves, long sleeves—the whole works. It guarantees that you have as little exposed skin as possible, thus making it almost impossible for the coronavirus to infect you. And when you are safe, it entails that everyone you interact with will not get COVID-19 because of you.

Avoid Going Out For Non-Essential Reasons

Many countries issued a lockdown order not too long ago. Almost every business in the cities had to shut down, except for pharmacies, supermarkets, and a few restaurants that offered foods on the go. They went through this measure to discourage the citizens from going out and mingling with each other, which increases the risk of coronavirus spread.

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In solidarity with your country, you should do as the government says and stay at home. You can still go to the establishments mentioned above, yes, but try to make your visits as infrequent as possible. For instance, if you used to buy several grocery items every day, fill your shopping cart with everything you need for an entire week or three. This way, you can avoid getting exposed to the possibly undetected virus carriers out there.

Final Thoughts

It is crazy to realize how much the world has changed in a short time. We have barely passed the first quarter of the year, and yet a lot of businesses are either struggling or already filing for bankruptcy. Worse, many have perished due to this pandemic. 

Express your care to the world now more than ever.  

A Grieving Loved One

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I made it a point to participate in the 2019 Grief Symposium so I can help my grieving grandmother. It has been two years since my grandfather died, and she is still depressed to the point that some days, she would not get out of bed. This is alarming for me since I am a mental health counselor for children, and even if I do not treat adults, I do know how depressions look like, and she has it.

 

My parents died when I was young, and I grew up with my grandparents. It was not hard for me to move on because I was only two when they had that fatal accident, and I had no memories of them. I would see pictures in albums, and I know what they look like, but I do not personally know them. That is what I miss about them, but my grandmother filled up that void. My grandfather was also one of my sources of joy and my rock, as well.

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I was grieving too when the Lord took him two years ago, but I got past it and was able to manage. My problem now is my grandmother, who cannot seem to get over the fact that her husband is not with us anymore. I will not understand it yet because I have never been married, but by the looks of it, losing a spouse can make life seem as if it is not worth living. And I do not want my grandmother to feel that way. I want to see that lively, vivacious, loud, and loving woman back again.

That is the reason why I joined the symposium, but of course, I also saw that opportunity to improve my craft. At least now, I am not only a therapist for young kids. I am also a therapist for people who are in grief. I can say for sure that the dynamics are different, but with continuing education on grief therapy and the practice itself, I will improve. My purpose is to get better at this because I want to help my grandmother. I want her to be better.

Continue reading “A Grieving Loved One”

Realities Of Dying Due To COVID-19

A friend of mine got diagnosed with COVID-19 four weeks ago. When I heard about it, I gave her a call immediately, and she assured me that she was already getting treatment at the hospital. A couple of weeks after that, the doctors said that she already tested negative for the coronavirus. Several more tests resulted in the same thing, and she was finally able to go home last week.

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Of course, it is against the rules right now to visit my friend, but it has not stopped me from calling her via FaceTime. As we were chatting, she was telling me about her experience with the COVID-19. My friend said that it was the scariest illness because she found it challenging to breathe on her own. Then, she talked about how being alone in one room for weeks, and only seeing nurses in Hazmats from time to time could genuinely mess up your psyche.

My friend said, “I only laid there on my bed most of the time. I would want to sit up, but everything ached. I felt so weak that I thought I was going to die.” Still, the realities of dying due to COVID-19 had helped her somewhat combat the coronavirus. She did not seem afraid of death specifically, but several facts surrounding it bummed her.

Your Family Cannot Visit Even During Your Last Days

When you are at least suspected of having coronavirus, even if you do not feel any symptom yet, you need to go into self-isolation. It typically lasts for 14 days for most people. If your test comes back positive, it can move up to a month or until you are free from the virus.

In case your body is too weak to survive, though, none of your loved ones will get to see you in person again. Letting it happen can jeopardize your health, and the doctors won’t risk it.

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No One Can Hold A Funeral For You

Have you ever thought of what you want to happen during your funeral? For instance, what songs should play throughout the occasion? What colors can your family and friends only wear?

Well, if you die because of the coronavirus, your chances of ever having a funeral will not occur. Your loved ones cannot visit you at the morgue or claim your body, given that the virus is still there. They can do nothing but hold a memorial for you.

You Have No Say About What Will Happen To Your Body Post-Mortem

Pre-coronavirus, people have had a choice about what happens to their bodies when they die. One may say, “I will donate my organ to individuals who need them.” Another person may utter, “I want to be buried next to my parents.”

This freedom, however, goes out of the window if coronavirus is the cause of your death. The body goes straight to the crematorium so that the virus will (hopefully) die in the extreme heat. To further ensure that, they keep the ashes’ container completely sealed for several weeks before the family can take it.

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Final Thoughts

As I recall what my friend has shared, I still think, “Wow, it’s very dark to use death as a motivation to live.” At the same time, however, it feels justified, given the news about what happens to people who perish due to coronavirus. The only way to avoid the same fate is to recover from COVID-19, which my friend has done.

In case you are dealing with a similar issue, looking at the situation in this point of view may push you to fight the virus harder than ever, too.

Losing A Loved One

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The 2017 Grief Symposium has provided me a different perspective when it comes to death, especially that of a close loved one and addressing grief. As a person with no close relative or friend who just died, you can just say “Condolence” or “I am so sorry for your loss,” but can you really say that you feel it? We are all just polite in saying these words to people who are grieving, and we will only find out about it if we are in that position, unfortunately.

Continue reading “Losing A Loved One”

Forgiving The Bad

Here is a bit of news that is going to be hard for people reading this to swallow. There is no reason at all for you to be angry at the deceased. They could have been the worst person without a shred of doubt, but you must learn to forgive because you will never be able to settle whatever transgressions that hurt your relationship. This article is going to cover how to embrace misdeeds that can hurt you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. However, we must stress that to forgive the dead entirely you need to all four of these for any issue as we will show. This is why we are going to cover the same misdeeds in every one of the four categories so that you can do so yourself.

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Forgiving Mentally

*Left In Time Of Need

This is the hardest to forgive mentally because that breaks the bond of family and doubly so when in most cases you have always been there in their time of need. You could not let yourself get angry at the dead for such reasons especially if you were there. Remember, “The strength of forgiveness has been shown to have a powerful buffering effect on stress. Those who are highly forgiving of themselves and others have a far less chance of having a mental illness.” Ryan M. Niemiec Psy.D. said.

*Repeatedly Broken Your Heart

Well, the only way to mentally heal is to move on. I know that it can be hard to have emotions for someone who does not have those emotions back, but that is life. Another fact of life, there are thousands of fish in the sea.

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*Died Without A Belief

The types of the mental gymnast to get upset by someone else’s faith is on par to the athletism required to forgive someone of the same deed. In short, you are on your own in this one mentally, but more often than not you are not too troubled with this.

*Attempt To Kill You/Your Family

Understand that if they are dead instead of you, then that must have meant that a miracle happened. Understand as well that “Not all people who have thoughts of suicide end up acting on those thoughts. But for those who do, generally there is deep emotional pain combined with a belief that things will never improve.” says Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC.

Forgiving Emotionally

*Left In Time Of Need

Now as long as you did not stop helping them and that has something to do with their death then emotionally forgiving someone is easy. All of the feelings towards the person (hatred, disappointment, etc.) should evaporate when you think of that person no longer being on this Earth.

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*Repeatedly Broken Your Heart

This is the hardest to forgive emotionally because it opens cracks for trust issues to leak into your relationship. The best advice that I can give is to remember that not everyone is the same. If you meet any guys who reminded you of the last one, then move on or switch teams for a while.

*Died Without A Belief

The same thing I said about forgiving someone mentally can be applied here as well.

*Attempt To Kill You/Your Family

Confide in your family about what happened. I am sure their advice alone will help you forgive you would be murderer emotionally.

Forgiving Spiritually

*Left In Time Of Need

Plainly say a prayer and hope for the best. Your religious book of choice will help here.

*Repeatedly Broken Your Heart

Unless otherwise stated let us just assume that all you must do spiritually is say a prayer.

*Died Without A Belief

This is something that cannot just be forgiven quickly in this regard. Due to all the types of religions in the world, I am sure your book covers what happens to nonbelievers.

Forgiving Physically

*Left In Time Of Need

Many of these misdeeds will not believe any physical scars, so all you needed to do is not get hit during your arguments.

*Repeatedly Broken Your Heart

Well as long as they did not literally break your hurt then it is possible to forgive them.

*Died Without A Belief

Just take a peek at what I said about solving this issue emotionally to find the solution here.

“Spiritual wellness is related to your values and beliefs that help you find meaning and purpose in your life. Spiritual wellness may come from activities such as volunteering, self-reflection, meditation, prayer, or spending time in nature.” –Marjie L. Roddick, MA, NCC, LMHC

 

Keeping Memories Untainted

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Perhaps someone owned you a lot of money before they died? Or the worst case scenario they had a corpse that was burnt or disfigured to the point where they had to have a close casket. All of these things and more we would never wish on a single individual, but we cannot pretend as it is implausible. In fact, acting like it did not is one of the fastest ways to have a memory of a loved one become tainted. Rather you are trying to untaint a memory or avoid it then this blog is going to have some helpful information for you either way.

“Spiritual wellness is related to your values and beliefs that help you find meaning and purpose in your life. Spiritual wellness may come from activities such as volunteering, self-reflection, meditation, prayer, or spending time in nature.” –Marjie L. Roddick, MA, NCC, LMHC

Ways To Forgive Quickly

*Think About The Good

Take times to remember all of the good things about what they did in their life; all of their accomplishments or accolades that they fulfil in their life. If they were young, then think about all of the things that they wanted to do with their time on Earth.

*Ask How Other Feel

If you are struggling to conjure up any good memories then maybe talking to others will help. While the best time is after the funeral, anytime when you are ready is just as good too. Do not ask for the good memories but just try to see what comes into everyone head who is trying to make you feel better.

“If you are struggling with low self-esteem, it is encouraged that you seek some type of help and support to work through this issue, and to help you be the best version of yourself that you can be.” –Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D.

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*Write/Say A Prayer

One of the best exercises for anger is to write a fake letter. Well, the same can be true of grief as well. Just write a letter to them as if they were alive. Sure they won’t read it, but it is that last goodbye that matters more often than not. The same goes when you decide to pray for someone oddly enough.

*Take Up A Habit

Habits are for the worst cases, but maybe you need to do something that takes your mind off of it. Anything will do but the more that you are absorbed into it then, the greater recommendation that you will get from me.

Ways To Remember Fondly

*Visit The Grave

No matter what memories you have of the Fallen, you know where they lie at the end of the day. They are in the grave now and are not coming back. Just take a moment and realise that your tainted memories are for not.

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*Look At The Picture

Peek at the pictures if your memories aren’t reliable enough to bring back some good times. The pictures tell you how someone was like but since most are ruined with the words, “Say Cheese”, we have lost all genuine emotions from pictures. Candid photos are some of the best and try to take them as often as possible. Who cares if you end up with a few that shows them upset or sad? Those emotions all come to par with this wonderful experience we call life.

“Acknowledge and accept the feelings: The first step is to learn to bring the feeling out.” -Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD

*Keep A Keepsake

A little memento never hurt anyone as this can range from any gift that this person ever gave you. Most of the time the best mementoes are those that are passed from one generation to the next.

Share And Dream

Now the final step to forgive someone is to make sure that you share the good things about them to everyone. Sharing is not limited to just the family member but not limited to strangers as well. Think about it in a way that they can usually flow into a conversation just like you would have done if they were alive. Don’t let the fact that just because your loved one rests in the grave so must their spirt.

Your Self-Therapy Guide To Overcoming Grief

Denial, anger, depression, and grief are the universal emotions that we elicit when facing the death of a loved one. Losing someone we love allows us to lament and sometimes we even resort to some alone time to let everything sink in. However, grieving too much can bring forth adverse effects on the quality of life that we have. Grieving is, in fact, one way to overcome the sadness and allow the person to gather their experience and move on. Positive grieving provides closure and acceptance of the unwanted event. Nonetheless, some have succumbed to the effects of depression and drowned themselves in excessive mourning, eventually losing their productivity in life.


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To spare ourselves from the negative upshots of mourning, we have to make sure that we still have a stronghold of reality. There are therapeutic ways on how we can go through the process of grieving that will help us overcome the sadness within without compromising our emotional and mental health condition. This article will provide practical ways to help oneself in overwhelming grief. As explained by Janeen Herskovitz, MA, LMHC, “Everyone reacts differently to grief, and how one reacts has a great deal to do with what happened and whether they’ve dealt with it appropriately.”

Therapeutic Ways

Create a routine. If you feel that the situation is starting to make you feel alone, you might consider creating a routine wherein you will still be able to perform your usual activities of daily living, especially self-care like personal grooming and attending to your physical needs. By doing so, you establish a constant pattern of reminding yourself that you still have things that need your attention as you preoccupy your mind with activities and will refrain yours from overthinking.

Set your goals. The death of someone might make us feel like dying too because of the unbearable pain that we are experiencing. However, this should not be the case. You must set goals of surpassing this ordeal. Setting goals could aid and assist in alleviating these frustrating feelings or circumstances. Planning or making a head start can increase your productivity enabling you to achieve the goals set forth.

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You are only sad, but not paralyzed. Exercise triggers the body to release endorphins that are responsible for activating the receptors in the brain that cause us to feel lighter and happy. “Exercising regularly is one of the easiest and most effective ways to reduce the symptoms of ADHD. Exercise has been shown to improve concentration, motivation, memory, and mood. ” says Staci Lee Schnell, MS, CS, LMFT. It enables the person to have a good mood, feel better towards self, and have a good night’s rest.

Food is life. When a person is depressed, it’s either they eat too much or not eat at all. Either way, the practice can lead to detrimental effects. Remember to eat correctly and not to neglect your body from nourishment. It’s not the end of the world for you, so quit feeling sorry for yourself.

Recharge and sleep. A rested mind is a healthy mind, so get some sleep! Sleeping does not only replenish the lost vibrancy and dynamism of the body but also relaxes it from the hard day’s work. It facilitates recuperation of tissues from the wear and tear of the day. Getting some sleep also enables the mind to rest, thus allowing it to analyze and recognize things better and clearer.

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Memorialize Your Loved One. When you commemorate the life of your dearly departed, feelings of appreciation and happiness override the feelings of sadness. Remember how the person lived and the pleasant things or activities that you did together when he/she was still alive. By remembering the good times, you will also feel contentment and the realization that the person has lived a significant life can help console you. Note that “Each person’s experience of grief is unique, so it’s unlikely that any one individual’s experience will be the same as another’s.” Lindsay Henderson, Psy.D. said.

Knowing these, we are reminded that grieving can be a therapy for us to be able to accept the reality of death. It should not be the other way around. Healing should be the product of grieving, which will enable us to move forward with faith and hope.